Art of Friendship Social-Coping Tip #10: Healthy Assertiveness: The Power of I

You are POWERFUL. I don’t mean with fists and fighting, but with words. Point to your chest. This is your core, your center, the home of your spirit. When you say “I” you point to yourself. Your lungs push air up through your voice box, and your mouth forms words that comes from your POWER CENTER. When you want to advocate (stick up) for yourself, you should begin with the POWER OF I.

“I feel __________.”

“I’d like __________.”

“I need __________.”

People are way likely to want to help you if you point to your power and say “I”. However, if you use THE BOO OF “YOU”, you stick up for yourself in a way that no one wants to help. When you start with the word, “YOU”, it sounds like,

“You always __________.”

“You never __________.”

“You  !@#$%*.”

Beginning with the word “you” makes people defensive and angry, and they don’t know what you want or need. “YOU” is best used when you are giving compliments. Stick with the POWER OF I to self-advocate and you may get what you want or need more often.

Onward and upward! --Mike